so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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