Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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