this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
