drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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