There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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