and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
