i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
