Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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