I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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