I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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