census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
