i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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