ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
