I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
