Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize