I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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