I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
