ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sext me about skeletons
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
