I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize