The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
did i just pee glitter
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
