i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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