Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
