Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
