all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize