i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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