I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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