dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
