My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
