i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
