If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
