ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
