im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it's like heaven, but drunker
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
