Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
