If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
