dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize