I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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