TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
