I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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