If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
