dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
