dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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