My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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