yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I am morally bankrupt
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My cat gives me a boner
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize