"it" just moved
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
