my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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