I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
