is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
