i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
