just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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