Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
