Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
