just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
