please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize