I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
