brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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