you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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