Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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