Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You are the jesus of drinking
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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