the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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