oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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