Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
