I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
