Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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