Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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