yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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