just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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