Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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