i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
