It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
