Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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