He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
