so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize