We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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