gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
