i would punch a child for taco bell
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize