By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize