If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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