Your tits are I can't wait for
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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