Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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