Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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