I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Tornado booty call.. dedication
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
