im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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