i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
