Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this boner is exhausting
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
